


All I Want Is To Be Home

by Knighting_Owls



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Major Character Injury, Rehab
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-11 04:46:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10455315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knighting_Owls/pseuds/Knighting_Owls
Summary: In the aftermath of the Hotton bypass crash, Robert and Aaron attempt to pick up the pieces after the crash that nearly cost Aaron his life; however as they look to the future and happier times. Rebecca White promises to leave the past where it remains and makes plans to leave the village. Even though, she's made a deal with Robert to bring Andy home.In a twist of fate, Ed Roberts makes a shocking return to Emmerdale. He’s on a one-way mission to win Aaron Dingle’s heart and will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Meanwhile, Robert goes to Butler’s Farm in secret with the hope of fulfilling Aaron’s wedding wish list. But darkness and danger lurk in the shadows waiting for him.Chapter 2 has now been uploaded. Please enjoy and comment.





	1. The Arrvial

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever time posting a fanfiction on here. It had to be about the greatest ship ever "Robron". This is my own take on what I think should have happened the day after Aaron got out of hospital after SSW. 
> 
> Thank you to the wonderful @godamnarmsrace and @Hail-The-Angel for being amazing beta readers (I couldn't have done this without you) and all of the fantastic support from our Robron Bubble on telegram app. This is for you, guys.

Ed spent another night in his car, curling up on the lumpy back seat and staring at the gloomy night sky. He doesn't remember nodding off, doesn't even remember feeling sleepy. He stirred to the sound of an early morning bird song. He clambered into the driver’s seat of his car and hammered a postcode into the sat nav.

Meanwhile, in The Woolpack pub, Robert helped Aaron down the stairs; his arms were firmly wrapped around Aaron’s ribs like anchors on a ship rooting itself to the sea floor to weather the storm that raged on.

"I can do it myself, now!" Aaron pleaded as they got midway down; he dragged the back of his hand over his sweat plastered forehead and dug his fingers into his tired eyes. Aaron had hardly slept since he’d been put on a noisy male ward at Hotton General for 48 hours after he’d been booted out of ICU because of his on-going progress.

Once Aaron had come home yesterday, it quickly became clear that it wasn’t just being on a noisy ward that had been the problem. Aaron soon figured this out for himself when he’d decided with Robert’s help to go upstairs and go to sleep. Aaron soon found he couldn’t settle himself without Robert beside him, even though he knew Robert was downstairs. He needed Robert to hold him, despite the fact that Aaron would have to admit to himself and himself only. It was going to hurt. It would hurt like hell.

Robert grew somewhat concerned when Aaron had shouted him from the top of stairs, asking him to come to bed early and then even more so when the nightmare started up. He wanted a solution for Aaron. He wanted to take everything away that the crash had left them with because even though they were engaged now; Aaron was now going through another living hell. As each night Aaron relieved being trapped in a sinking car and dying without Robert.

Robert placed some bread in the toaster and stared at Aaron sitting slumped down on the sofa and resting his tired eyes. Dark shadows ran neatly under his dull, topaz eyes. "Are you gonna be okay, while I go to my meetings?" Robert asked.

Aaron nodded his head. "I’ve got Mum if I need anything?" Aaron sighed, once again rubbing his eyes as he opened them to the bright light of the backroom of The Woolpack. "Gonna plough through that Lord of the Rings boxset that Liv got me."

Robert sat next to Aaron on the sofa and stroked his fingers through Aaron’s fluffy chocolate coloured hair. "Try and get some more sleep, if you can?" Robert asked before handing Aaron a piece of buttery toast and disappearing from the backroom for a hot shower.

Over an hour later, dressed in a grey suit with a pink shirt and a matching darker pink tie, Robert stepped into the backroom to say goodbye to Aaron. However, Aaron was laid flat on his back on the sofa fast asleep, a little bit of drool coming from the corner of his mouth – the TV was still playing the first Lord of the Rings film. Robert made soft movements; he put another pillow under Aaron’s still swollen ankle and then placed the blanket that was on the back of the sofa over Aaron’s still sleeping body. Robert gently kissed Aaron’s forehead and lingered in the doorway for a bit longer than he should have, just smiling at the sight of his peaceful, sleeping fiancé. Robert put on his long black winter coat as it was like brass monkeys outside.

Ed had reached his destination. He parked his car in the carpark of the B&B, Emmerdale, taking with him his sunglasses and cigarettes, he made his way down to The Woolpack.

 

****** ******* ****** ****** ****** ******

 

Chas walked into the backroom while Aaron was still there, lightly dozing on the sofa - the blanket was twisted around his middle and his arms were crossed tightly over his chest.

She gently tapped him on the shoulder. "You have a visitor, love," Chas said, uneasily as Ed came out from behind her, strolling into the room like he owned the place.

"Ed... what the?" Aaron said, groggily, somewhat surprised to see him. He pulled himself into a seating position and discarded the blanket onto the back of the sofa.

"That’s no way to greet someone," Ed said. His tone was, as usual, easy-going. He made himself at home and collapsed down onto the sofa next to Aaron.

"I'll leave you to it. Got a bar to run." Chas said, leaving the boys to it.

"So…" Aaron said, finally finding his voice only to lose it again. It had just been shy of 8 months since he’d last spoken to Ed and that had only been out of pure desperation. He struggled to think how long it had been since they’d last stood face to face in the same room. "What do you want me to say to you... that I've missed you? Because… I haven’t... I’m all good now. Everything's fine." Aaron continued.

"You don’t look it." Ed questioned, looking Aaron up and down Ed was concerned to see a pale grey tint highlighting Aaron's face and a hand firmly pressed to his abdomen. Aaron didn't look his best and it sent a shiver down Ed's spine. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"This?" Aaron said, lost for words. He gestured to himself, waving his left hand over his torso. "This is nothing, it'll heal," Aaron said, catching the sight of his engagement ring, he showed it to Ed. "There’s this as well?" Ed shot a quick glance at the ring, before dismissing it and looking Aaron in the eyes.

Aaron still missed Ed sometimes, not in a romantic sort of way. Their relationship had never really sizzled - no spice of life or - as his Mum would say, 'if there's no spark. It's never gonna work.'

There was a connection between them. Aaron had felt it in the beginning. However, it wasn't like the one he had with Liverpool FC or the one he now had with his future husband-to-be, Robert.

Aaron had sacrificed so much for Adam - but in return, he'd met someone who could make him feel carefree, someone who had mastered the habit of breaking Aaron out of a bad mood with his relentless positivity and his refusal to see Aaron as broken and damaged goods.

Life with Ed had been simple and fun. No dramas. Right up until it hadn’t been anymore.

"So… got yourself a fiancé then? Good looking... "

"What are you doing here?" Aaron asked, cutting Ed off. Aaron wasn't in the mood to explain to his ex-lover who Robert was to him.

"I was just in the area," Ed said, keeping his reply calculatedly vague. In truth, he travelled for back over to England only a matter of weeks ago - he resigned to living in Leeds for now. However, a couple of hours ago after a threatening conversation. Ed had made a decision out of pure madness and weakness to have this conversation with Aaron. A conversation he was now second-guessing. Ed had, of course, looked online before he’d ventured to see Aaron but apart from the cryptic phone call he received in late January to go on, he’d found nothing.

Aaron attempted to nod nonchalantly as though he’d always considered he and Ed to be the type of mates to drop in unannounced on each other for no particular reason. That they could be there for one and other at the drop of a hat. In truth, he wished they were.

Ed stood briefly, removing his leather jacket and clearing his throat. He lowered himself down onto the coffee table, so he was facing Aaron and crossed one leg over the other with a look of determination on his face.

Aaron braced himself.

"So, Aaron... " Ed said.

Ed wasn’t gentle with Aaron, never was, never would be, understanding - yes, patient – yes but not gentle. He never made Aaron feel less than human. He didn't handle Aaron like a China doll, ready to break at any given moment and prone to shattering.

In that moment with nothing more to be said Aaron knew what this was all about. He closed his eyes and with a small sigh resigned himself to the conversation about to take place.

"When you contacted me… in January..." Ed inquired.

And there it was… the confirmation that Aaron had been waiting for but didn’t need to.

"Yeah, about that phone call... " Aaron said, determined to take control of the conversation, this, after all, was what his life had become - a statement. If he could stand up in a court room of strangers and tell them. He could tell his ex-lover. "I don’t normally do this but you deserve the truth, Ed. I was in a really bad place because of my... Dad came back into my life at Christmas and he got back together with my Mum. They were gonna buy this place as a partnership because Diane decided she wanted to sell up."

"Your parents getting back together, that must be every kid's dream. What was so bad about all of that?" Ed said, smiling at Aaron and playfully patting him on the leg.

"My Dad.. wasn't who he said he was... I'm just gonna say it, Ed." Aaron stuttered over his words.

"Say what..?" Ed asked, nervously. His smile faded.

Taking a deep breath, Aaron steeled himself for what he was about to say. "I was sexually abused by dad when I was younger, he went to prison eventually. He got 18 years. I got my life back." Aaron made a subconscious decision to leave out the part about Gordon killing himself.

The silence after his confession was deafening. Aaron fidgeted with the long sleeve of his jersey top uncomfortably as he tried not to look at Ed’s face, fearing he would see disgust there. Finally, Ed started to speak.

"Okay. That explains a lot really, especially that one time when… and not about you… but when you lost it in Rome, everything that happened on that trip. I always thought it was about me. I didn’t want to make you do anything you didn’t want to do." Ed said.

Aaron hadn’t really expected that, hadn’t expected Ed to remember that one night out of all the nights they’d spent together. However, after that night everything changed. That one bad night had led to a continuous bad feeling he hadn’t been able to shake and hadn’t been willing to identify. The spark went out that night and a thick black blanket began to lay over their relationship.

"Things were never really the same for us after that, were they?" Ed continued.

Aaron didn’t know what to say to that… partly because he hadn’t really put the two things together before now. At the time Aaron hadn’t allowed himself to acknowledge the impact his abusive past was having on his present day life because he refused to acknowledge the abuse itself. He'd locked is so far away in the back of his mind it's like it hadn't happened and Gordon had been right all along - he'd made the whole thing up his twisted and damaged mind.

However, Aaron still knew the truth and Robert believed in him and the courts had heard his truth ring clear - they served what Gordon deserved. Aaron had got justice for that little boy.

"I hope I didn’t make you think you couldn’t talk to me… not that it’s about me, I know that… I would have never…"

"Ed, it wasn’t you," Aaron reassured him and he was reminded once more how comfortable he’d always felt talking to Ed. "What happened that time… was just? I still couldn’t admit it to myself, never mind someone I loved."

Ed nodded in acknowledgement before silence settled between them, both men deeply entrenched in their own thoughts.

"I’m sorry I pushed you away," Aaron said, finally and he was. He wasn’t sorry that they’d ended it, his love for Robert only proved to show what he and Ed had lacked. But he was sorry if the way it had ended had left Ed confused and hurt.

Ed looked surprised and mortified. "I’m the one who should be apologising if anything I did remind you of…"

"But I didn’t know that’s what it was then. Like I said, this isn’t your fault. What he did was unspeakable - but it’s in the past. It’s over. I’ve moved on. I’m getting married."

"I see." Ed looked at Aaron’s engagement ring for the second time. "Do you ever think about you and me? Like where we would be if we hadn’t messed up things up so badly between us? If I had fought hard for you to stay, then maybe… we could…" Ed asked a slight hopeful lilt to his voice. Aaron tried not to frown.

"Look, Ed. I don’t know. I’m trying to leave the past where it is and move on. I’m with somebody and nothing is ever gonna change that. We love each other too much."

"Okay. I’ll shut up. You don’t need to hear my problems." Ed grumbled, turning his back to Aaron and heading for the door.

"Ed, you don’t have to go. I didn’t mean…" Aaron trailed off, not sure what to say to appease his former lover.

"I know what you meant, 'there is no us.' I get it." The bitterness in Ed's voice was unmistakable.

"No, I want you to stick around. Go into the bar and I’ll buy you a pint."Aaron said, pointing to the backroom door. Ed followed Aaron into the open bar, the noise of the busy lunch time rush filled his ears and he noticed that Aaron was limping. Chas sent a sideways glance at the pair as they entered. Aaron made a gesture to a table in the back. Ed planted himself down in one of the armchairs.

"Pint and an orange juice please, Mum," Aaron said. Once they were handed to him he limped over to where Ed was sitting and sat down with his back to the bar, wanting to avoid his Mum's curious looks.

"Umm… okay, can I ask you a question?" Ed asked.

"Shoot," Aaron said as he took a gulp of his orange juice.

"Are you still a mechanic? Do you still work for your uncle? Cain was it?"

"No. I’m my own boss now, well co-owner. Gone into to scraping with Adam, we’ve got our own pitch up near Wishing Well."

"Sweet," Ed said.

"You looking for work?" Aaron inquired.

"Yeah," Ed said, taking a gulp of his beer and licking the foam from his beard.

"I'll have a word with Adam, but we should be able to sort something out. Seeing as I'm meant to be resting!"

"What happened? You do know you're limping?" Ed inquired, looking slightly concerned.

Aaron bowed his head and scratched his beard. Aaron had flushed the pills away, which Robert had given to him in the early hours of the morning along with sugary hot tea. He thought he didn't need them anymore. "I had surgery a couple of days ago. There was a big car pile-up on the Hotton bypass. Me and Robert... my fiancé... we were involved. I crashed my car into a lake and got trapped under the steering wheel. I lacerated my liver and twisted my ankle."

"Nasty."

"Yeah, Robert saved my life. It wasn't the first time, either." Aaron sighed, lifting up the long sleeve of his jersey top, discreetly showing Ed the pinkish diagonal line that ran down his arm. Aaron wasn't afraid to show Ed the newish corruption to his body. Ed had been one of the first people he'd told about his self-harming and he'd done so without being found out or snitched on. "It nearly killed me. But, without it..." Aaron forcefully brushed the forming tears away from his eyes with the back of his hand. Ed took hold of his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Without him, I wouldn't be here. He saved my life. You see I'm happy now and it's all because of Robert. Me and you, it helped me become okay with myself again. I'll be forever grateful for what we had. But it’s Robert. He's the one." Aaron finished wiping away the rest of his tears that escaped and smiled at Ed.

"I hope so." Robert sounded exasperated from behind Aaron. Aaron jumped slightly, quickly withdrawing his hand away from Ed's and pulling down his sleeves to cover his hands. Ed watched on with interest. However, the sight that Aaron was met with was one he'd gladly trade - for a split second it was like he was back in the water filled Subaru. Robert was a pale, sickly grey colour. His nose and ears had a red tint to them and the left side of his eye was inflamed.

Aaron got to his feet and turned Robert's face to the right with his sweater paw clan hand. "Are you okay, Robert? Your eye is really puffy. You’re back early?" Robert released the breath he been holding down. He could feel himself shaking. "How long have you been stood there?" Aaron asked as he took Robert’s pint and black leather folder from his shaking hands. Aaron placed them on the table behind him. Robert dug both his hands deep into his coat pockets as Aaron wiped away the foam that was still covering Robert's pink lips and started to inspect his puffy eye with gentle fingers.

"A little while, my third… no. My second meeting got cancelled. I thought we could have… lunch in the pub… back room together. I'm surprised to see you out here. I thought I told you… you need. To get some more sleep." Robert said, stumbling over his words.

Aaron placed his hands on Robert's cheeks and gently kissed his fiancé’s lips. "I'm fine. You, on the other hand, need to sit down, now. You’re shaking, Robert." Aaron guided Robert into the chair which he had just vacated.

"It's cold out there," Robert said. Ed started to gather up his stuff, putting on his sunglasses and checking his phone. He made an attempt to move past Robert without even a word to Aaron. Robert took hold of Ed's arm, stopping him dead in his tracks.

"Who… are… you?" Robert slurred, turning from Ed to Aaron.

"Do you wanna tell him?" Ed questioned. Aaron remained silent, biting his lip as he tried to remove Robert's coat from his stiff shoulders while Robert batted his hands away.

Ed cleared his throat and removed his sunglasses. "Give me some credit, ay?" He gave the brunette a stern look as Aaron continued to blank him. Suddenly, Robert inhaled sharply and groaned out in agony once Aaron started to guide his fingers through his blonde hair. "Sorry, Rob." Robert remained silent and started to rub his upper-chest with some force.

"Rob, Robert," Aaron asked concern sketched in his gruff voice. He noticed Robert’s continuous rubbing and pain-stricken eyes. Aaron acted fast. "Robert. It’s Aaron. Just take your hand away; concentrated on your breathing, you need to slow it down. It’ll be okay, I’ve got you. I’m here," he said softly, crouching down to Robert’s height and taking his hands into his own.

"I'm interrupting something, now?" Ed asked Aaron. Aaron ignored Ed and focused solely on a dishevelled Robert who was struggling to breathe. Ed patted Aaron’s shoulder with his hand. "Is he okay?" Aaron continued to blank Ed. "AARON!" Ed shouted, gaining the attention of a few people in the pub.

"I cannot do this, Ed. You need to go. Get out!"

"Oh, come on. I thought we were mates." Ed huffed, rolling his eyes.

"I said get out now!" Aaron growled, fire in his eyes and his voice. He kicked the closest thing to him - which was a stool with - a great force, completely forgetting about the stitches in his abdomen and his sore foot. Ed slipped out as Aaron yelled out in agony. Paddy got up from his chair at the bar and grabbed Aaron by the shoulders. He turned Aaron around to face him. "Breathe," Paddy commanded, looking Aaron in the eyes.

Aaron focused on his breathing and chewed on his lip to steam the pain that ripped through his laparoscopic incisions. ”Aaron, A...” Robert stuttered as he got to his feet. He pulled at the cold material of his coat with unsteady hands, a sharp - ”Ah!” - escaped from his lips and he noticed his knees started to buckle. Paddy let go of Aaron's shoulders to grab Robert under the arms. “Rob. Robert!” Paddy shook him a little, trying to get the blonde's attention.

"Aaron... A..." Robert gasped, the black spots starting to recede from his vision. "Who... was... that..? Paddy?" Robert asked, his voice still shaky.

"That was Ed. My ex." Aaron replied. Aaron put his hand on Robert's forehead. "Are you sure you’re okay?" Aaron asked.

Robert shook his head. "That water was disgusting... and..."

"You've just put on a show because you’ve got a dodgy tummy?" Aaron sighed, slapping him on the arm playfully.

"Aaron? Go get, Ed. I'll look after Robert. Get to the point of this facade that he's playing at. I heard how rude he was to you. Go!" Paddy said giving Aaron a gentle push in the direction of the pub doors.

Aaron was reluctant to leave Robert with Paddy, even though the whole thing with the panic attack just seemed like a joke to Robert and not something of a serious event. Aaron didn't want to have to face the music with Ed. But the mix coloured young man seemed somewhat trouble to Aaron. Aaron was a sucker for being somewhat of a Good Samaritan, he'd always go out of his way to help someone, especially a mate.

While Robert made a determined attempt to move out of Paddy's grasp but he stopped him as Aaron gave Paddy another knowing look before disappearing out of the front of The Woolpack.

"Let him go, Robert. You seriously don't look too good..." Paddy said, actually feeling slightly concerned at the state of the blonde man still in his arms.

"Not you too. I'm fine. I was putting on a show like Aaron said." Robert groaned, straightening up from where he rested against Paddy.

"I'm not buying it and you did just collapse into me. You don't look very well, Robert. Sit down." Paddy sighed, helping Robert move to one of the pub chairs.


	2. Build a Dynasty of Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron's the sort of person who likes to see the best in people.  
> Ed's the type of person who thinks lying and cheating will get him through another horrible day.  
> Robert's the kind of person who would put his family before anybody, his family are his whole world.  
> Liv speaks her mind and she's a girl who knows exactly who she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is finally here after a 2-week hiatus. Once again, just want to say a massive thank you to @Hail-The-Angle for being an amazing beta reader and being so patient with my drafts and ideas. Thank you for all the wonderful support from our Robron Bubble chat on the telegram app. This is once again, for you guys.

"Ed, wait," Aaron shouted from the front door of The Woolpack and attempted to hobble down the two icy steps. Ed turned around sharply and reluctantly jogged back to the front of The Woolpack.

"What happened in there... I'm sorry, okay. I didn't mean it. Just come back inside." Aaron said.

"No, it's not okay, Aaron. You've just offered me a job and now you're just throwing it in my face. If you didn't want to give it to me in the first place then why did you bother? Aaron, this isn't you. Now, you're begging me to stay. Make your fucking mind up. Did I make you uncomfortable in there? More to the point what hell is his problem?"

"Don't you dare. We both could've died in that crash and you're having a laugh about it?"

"No. I just don't like being messed around, Aaron."

"The truth is I don't want any beef between us. Yes. I want us to be friends. Yes. I want you to still have the job. But, I'm with Robert - you've got to understand that - no one else comes close - I've never loved anybody like I love him and sometimes I don't know what to do with it. It scares me how much I love him and what I'd do for him. I'd do anything. But, you and I can never happen ever again. I've already told you that, why am I having to explain myself twice?"

"Well, I didn't want you anyway!"

"Then what was all of that in there."

"Aaron, it might not have occurred to you, but you can't fix everything. I'm not one of your broken down cars. You want the truth. I'll show you the fucking truth!" Ed threw his car keys at Aaron's face, Aaron's hands shoot up and he caught them only to realise that Ed had disappeared. Ed had sprinted up to the B&B. Aaron caught sight of his leather jacket disappearing inside the hedges. He sluggish followed Ed and found him leaning on the bonnet of a flashy black sports car with a private number plate, that was new Aaron thought to himself.

"Well, open her up then?" Ed said. Aaron did as he was told and found the car in a bit of a state. There was a scrunched up sleeping bag on the back seat and empty coffee cups littered the in front of the dashboard. To put it blankly the car looked...

"You've been living in your car." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," Ed said, not looking at Aaron.

"For how long?"

"Aaron, I kinda need your help with something?"

"What?"

"I still want the job, I need it desperately. I got kicked out of my flat back in France. Can we do this somewhere else?" Ed said, looking around the B&B car park uncomfortably.

"Ok, Where?"

"There's a pub on Redwood Avenue in Leeds. I'll drive. Get in." Ed said, gesturing to the open car.

 

****** ****** ******

 

"What's this about then?" Aaron said, taking a seat in a booth in the back of the unknown pub he'd be driven to.

"You needed me when something bad started to happen. Now, I need you, Aaron. That car is stolen and I've been-" Ed was cut off by Aaron's loud exclamation.

"STOLEN!"

"Keep your voice down," Ed whispered harshly. He glanced around the room to see if anyone had noticed.

"I've been living on the streets since I got kicked out of my flat. Hitched hiked all the way to Leeds from France. Then there was this car just sitting in Regency Street, keys still in the ignition." Ed explained quietly.

"So, you just took it?!"

"Yes, I was living on the streets. It's fucking cold at night, Aaron. I thought I was going to die each night as I closed my eyes. The thing is... now the guy wants it back or he's gonna find me and kill me."

"So, just give it back."

"He doesn't just want the car back... He wants two grand by Friday."

"For the- Holy Fucker! So, you come to me. Ed, we'll sort this out. Don't know how? A poxy scrapyard job ain't gonna get you two grand by Friday. You need money because... I could give you..."

"Aaron, come on," Ed said, lightly punching Aaron's shoulder. "For a mate?"

"You can have a loan, okay."

"Really."

Ed spotted a pale looking guy with a beard. Gary, one of the guys he owed money to. Ed gave Aaron a sheepish look before standing from his seat. "Aaron. " Ed whispered.

Ed had just purposely lied to Aaron to save Aaron from the harsh reality of his truth. You see, Ed wasn't homeless - the car was his and NOT stolen. Ed had travelled back to Leeds after losing his job and home in France, desperate for cash and a place to call home. Ed contacted some of his old mates he used to play rugby with, (they'd been kicked off the team for taking and supplying steroids) Ed bought stronger gear off them now, a drug called spice - synthetic marijuana - to sell to the homeless. Things were going steady with his dealing until he got pressured into taking the stuff - if was good stuff - it calmed him - it stopped the voices for a little while but... the come down... it was like hell. Then only a matter of days ago, he'd gone to one of the greasy soup kitchens for a decent meal and to sell - of course - that day he hadn't eaten in three days and then things got even worse. He got robbed of all his gear by some skank near the toilets. 500 pounds worth of gear, just gone. His blood wanted by the people he once called his mates. It was either of his body on a slab or cash - nothing else, nothing more.

"What?" Aaron asked.

"It's... but this isn't his turf. Come on, Aaron. We need to go. Run!"

"ED!" Gary shouted.

How could Ed have done this to Gary, to the lot of them? Betraying their trust and leaving them in debt. Gary's face burned. An animalistic snarl clawed its way up his throat. "I’m going fucking to kill you." He lunged, swinging for Ed but missing. Gary's projectile saliva landed on Ed's face. "You fucking trap, get here now," Gary shouted. A mid-20s looking guy with a blonde bread came up behind Gary.

"Is everything alright, mate?" He asked.

"Peachy!" Gary shouted again.

The guy shoved past Gary with hard force to get to Ed.

"Get off me! Don't touch me, mate!" Gary yelled, going for the guy's neck. "Is this because there is an audience," Gary asked fiercely.

Ed had taken the opportunity to run, Gary took hold of Ed's hoodie and a beefy arm wrapped around his throat before he was spun around and slammed into a table. The group of people sat there yelled and scrambled backwards. Then Gary was burying punches, over and over again. Ed's nose broke with a crunching sound. One of the guys from the table, a tall and muscular sort jumped in and threw Gary to the ground. Aaron finally stood up in good measure and pulled Gary to his feet before slamming his head down on a table closest to him. Gary rolled off the dented table and lay lax on the floor.

Aaron approached Ed with sour eyes. The tall, muscular guy took Aaron as another threat and landed punches into his healing side. Aaron crumbled to the ground. Ed punched the guy that hurt Aaron in the face. He bent down to help Aaron when a hand touched Ed's shoulder. He elbowed the person behind him and looked around to see a bouncer holding his nose.

A couple of minutes later the police had been called in and Ed had been arrested and was carted away in handcuffs. Aaron refused to back down and got himself arrested too by throwing a pub chair through one of the pub windows. Aaron's knees buckled when he was handcuffed and he was once again cribbed by the pain in his side. The glass from the smashed window coated the street floor and glistened in the high October sun.

What was Robert going to say to him?

Aaron was refused a phone call and was charged with criminal damage. He and Ed must remain in the cells pending further enquiries.

 

****** ****** ******

 

After, Aaron had left The Woolpack to sort things out with Ed. Paddy had fussed around Robert for a bit - but both men were not each other's best company. Paddy handed Robert his flat beer from one of the back tables and went back to work.

Robert sat slumped in a chair, his queasy stomach had settled but there was still painful ringing in his ears and his nose felt like there was cotton wool stuffed up there. Robert downed his flat beer and retrieved his paperwork from the table as well. He chucked his coat and folder on the sofa in the back room before leaving, proceeding to try and take away the fogginess from his brain in The Woolpack toilets by splashing ice cold water on his face.

However, upon returning to the bar and finding Aaron still wasn't back Robert checked his phone and found a cryptic text message. Robert ordered another pint from Victoria and moved sluggishly to a booth in the back of The Woolpack repeatedly checking his phone.

 

****** ****** ******

 

Several hours later, Victoria dropped a very drunken Robert onto the sofa of the back room. She'd finally had to refuse to serve him and so had Chas. She placed a blanket over his shaking body and left.

 

****** ****** ******

 

Robert sat on the bathroom floor curled into himself. His own vomit was on his clothes and in the toilet.

"Aaron!" Liv shouted as she came through the back door of The Woolpack. She dumped her bag and coat at the foot of the stairs. "Aaron!" She yelled again, to no avail. She stood in the silence of the downstairs hallway, fidgeting with the sleeve of her crisp, white school shirt until she heard vomiting coming from the upstairs bathroom. She raced up the stairs and banged loudly on the bathroom door. "Aaron!" She yelled for the third time. Robert moaned out in agony. Liv knew what her brother sounded like when he was in pain and that wasn't Aaron. "Robert. Where's Aaron?" Liv ran back down the stairs and into the bar. "Chas! Where's Aaron?!" She shouted.

"He still not back yet. Silly boy."

"What has he done now? Oh, by the way, Robert's throwing up his guts in the bathroom. Just thought you might want to know. He may need a hand?" Liv said, in a sassy tone. "No, like seriously, what's Aaron done?"

"He left a couple of hours ago, to go make amends with his ex-boyfriend, Ed - the lad he went to France with, from a few years ago. Don't know why though, Paddy said he was very cocky and rude. Not how I remember him. He's not rang or anything to say where he is. I think Robert's a bit pissed, so he got himself stupid drunk in my pub. Had to refuse him and pour coffee down his throat."

"I'm gonna go call around, you know ring Adam and Cain... then I'll start with the hospitals..."

"Liv, he's only been gone a few hours. You know what he's like... he's probably lost track of time." Chas said lightly.

 

****** ****** ******

 

An hour later, Liv sat on the sofa with a depressed look. Chas had rang Adam and Cain to no avail, there was no sighting of Aaron and then for good measure Chas had locked Liv's phone in the pub safe. A moment later, Robert appeared in the back room, looking a bit worse for wear. His blonde hair was plastered to his sweaty forehead and his shirt was splattered with his own vomit.

"I heard you having a go at Chas, that's no way to talk to her. What do you think he's done? Legged it off to France with that skank of a human being, when 'this' is waiting for him at home. It'll be something or nothing." Robert said, chill laced in his voice.

"This isn't him 'legging it' he's got too much around here. But, something's happened, something big. Chas said he went after Ed, right. Who is this Ed? Are you seriously chill about him going off with his ex-boyfriend? You're going to be his husband, Robert and you're telling me you're not seriously pissed off with him for going off with another bloke."

"Yeah, I'm annoyed Liv but not so annoyed that I'm gonna go and shout the odds to Chas. I trust him, Liv. He's not like that. He's fine. He sent me this." Robert showed Liv the cryptic text message.

 

_'Robert. Gone to Leeds to sort out some stuff w/ Ed. He in a bit of a state car trouble too so might be a while dont wait up. Love u. A xxx'_

 

"He'll come back when he's ready. I don't mind. He needs the fresh air after..."

"You do realise anything could have happened to him. He was only in the hospital yesterday!" Liv shouted.

"Ok, calm down. Look, this isn't like last time. I'll cancel my meetings for tomorrow... and I will..." Robert slurred, rubbing his forehead.

"You stupid bastard! No, Robert, this is just like last time - something's spooked him and he's done a runner. You find him, you fucking find my brother, you... he's all I got. God knows he's all you've got!" Liv shouted before slapping Robert's face very hard with the palm of her hand.

"Jesus. He's only been gone a few hours." Robert said in a lax tone, rubbing at his red cheek.

"I'm sorry, but who am I without my brother, Robert. I need him as much as you do. I love him." Liv said, as her chin began to wobble and she bowed her head in defeat.

"Shhh... I know you do and so, do I." Robert said, wrapping an arm around Liv's shoulder. "Here. Start with Hotton General." Robert handed Liv his phone with a little smile. She took it with a tear in her eye and held the phone close to her chest. Liv hugged Robert with her free hand, Robert ran his fingers through her high pony tall. "We'll find him, I promise. You know, you're wrong about me."

"Then prove it." She sighed, burying her head into Robert's vomit stained shirt.

"I will." He said, pulling away from Liv's tight hug. "I'm gonna go and guess Aaron's phone passcode. You know, so I can track the GPS on his phone. It's Aaron, so shouldn't be too hard."

 

****** ****** ******

 

Back at the police station, Aaron and Ed were put in separate cells after they were both interviewed over there actions. Ed received a caution while Aaron was charged with criminal damage and was forced to pay a fine. However, they were both remanded in custody overnight and would be bailed in the morning.

 

****** ****** ******

 

Darkness. Just darkness.

His name was Edward Roberts.

Edward Roberts was a good person.

Edward Roberts was a good husband.

Edward Roberts was a good father.

He can't stop it when hands flick around his throat. He can't spot it when the coldness placed in the fingertips seep into his skin around his throat. He can't stop it when nails carve unspoken words into his throat.

A few painted breaths escape not so eagerly from his chapped lips, fearful, black, painted, deep red. Nothing feels right. Hands tightened and promised to never let go. His seat on the cold, concrete of the police station's cell fell away very suddenly, ending with his back smacking against the ground uneventfully. His eyes widened as his own hands made futile attempts at yanking the shadowy hands which clasped at his throat. He cried out. The hands around his neck vaporise instantaneously, too quick to not leave a shudder of a feeling that this could never actually be quite that normal.

 

****** ****** ******

 

A loud bang rang out through the police station - echoing against every cell wall like cries of a newborn baby. Ed's eyes shoot open as he gasped for oxygen, his ear's ringing from the banging that continued to echo from outside his cell door. Then he remembered. He felt his sweat and blood in his beard and the recreation of where the hands, the finger, the nail had been...

Nauseousness lined his throat and before he knew it he was vomiting into the toilet in the cell. Once again, the cold hands were back - wrapping, twisting, curling - around his neck, fingernails digging into his throat stopping the blood supply.

It had started with six months of silent torture - it had started with a dream about a beckoning newborn baby angel with silvery blue eyes, flawless skin except for a cascade of freckles across his cheeks, flowing blonde hair and floating clouds. The angel would reach out to him, mouth his name, over and over.

Then a mysterious figure appeared from behind a series dark, stormy clouds. A tall man dressed entirely in black. He would start to remove his hood and then the dream would end. Ed would wake up.

That was six months ago, loads of things had changed since then...

The dreams turned into nightmares... and next were the voices.

A shuddered voice. "I wonder if Aaron really cares... " The voice wavered, red eyes glared and then the figure in the corner of his cell bolted forward and wrapped his icy cold hands around Ed's throat and commanded his vocal cords to speak, to scream and to shape his voice into something new, forming the sound of a tortured animal.

A baby deer caught in a thorn bush screaming for its mother - but it's mother never comes and the deer bleeds to death. Dying alone without no one to love it. To take care of it.

"Of course, he doesn't! He'll never love you! You'll never be enough for him, not now!" The voice said.

 

Ed continued to scream, scratching at his throat with clawed hands. He quickly removed his t-shirt and wet it in the sink. He began to rub forceful at his neck. "Stop! Stop! Please stop!" Ed pleaded.

 

 

_Your reflection is another you. One, in which you cannot destroy without destroying yourself._

 

******

 

It was only when Ed woke up that he realised he managed to doze off. His body was wrapped tightly in a blue blanket, his nail on every finger were bitten down to bloody stubs.


End file.
